Are there any annoying mentalities Nigerian men must stop? Let’s see!
Nigerian men are fun to be with, and dating them can be awesome as well. They are not just handsome black men; Nigerian men are ready to cater and care for the one they truly love. And they have “sweet mouth” LOL Nigerian guys can “toast” ehhnn.
As sweet and caring as they are, they have some annoying mentalities that can make even the most naive and sweet girl run away from them. These mentalities are so wrong that girls can’t even be friends with guys that have at least 7 of these annoying mentalities Nigerian men must stop. It’s just a turn-off for girls.
I carefully compiled this after listening to the experiences and opinions of several Nigerian women. Do you have any of these annoying mentalities Nigerian men must stop? Does your man have them? There’s only one way we can find out. Please read on.
Table of Contents
10 most annoying mentalities Nigerian men must stop
Generalizing that all girls are the same
Many Nigerian men are guilty of this. Once a Nigerian guy has been through one or two bad relationships, and his friends have also told him about their own bad experiences, he suddenly assumes all girls are not worthy of their love. I see them every day on my social media pages. Sometimes you may some misogynistic and derogatory remarks about women like, “trust no girl,” “all girls are bitches”. This is so bad that some allow it affect their relationships with other ladies that genuinely like them.
Some will become so cold-hearted and even want to punish innocent ladies and break their confidence. Bro, it’s not other girls’ fault that you’ve met bad girls, and your little heart has been broken. Yeah, bad and mean girls exist too, deal with it! Just stop generalizing other girls; it’s not just annoying; it’s stupid to assume all girls are the same. Just like how I find it silly to think all men are genuinely scum, good people still exist for real, and you just have to open your heart. If you are not ready to go into a relationship, it’s okay, but please don’t generalize.
Pride and Ego
The pride and ego of a typical Nigerian guy are greater than Mount Everest! Nigerian guys just don’t know when no is no. Some won’t mind when you even tell them you have a boyfriend; they will be like, “So? Do you know what your boyfriend is doing out there too?” Their ego is bruised when a girl says no, especially when they are rich and powerful. A guy once told a friend of mine, “do you think I will stoop low and beg you to go out with me? I have many other girls”.
Some guys don’t even know how to say “sorry, I’m at fault” in a relationship. And their ego is usually more bruised than their heart when a girl breaks up with them. Uncle, let go of your pride and ego if you want a better relationship.
The “hustle hard so you can get any girl” mentality
This is another mentality I despise so much. Guys automatically think they can get any girl when they have money. That all girls want is money. I won’t blame them for this mentality because girls and society also have a role to play in the psyche, but that’s a story for another day. One thing guys fail to understand is that as much as money is essential in a relationship, the real ones don’t want your money.
Money is not what a girl that likes you will be looking out for. She will be looking for how caring and loving you are, how you are willing to do anything for her. Many girls look for that because a guy can be rich and won’t care about his girl. You don’t need to worry about a girl like you. It’s straightforward; not all girls hide their emotions for the ones they like. She doesn’t want to spend your money; she would prefer you to take care of yourself first. A girl who likes you will spend on you unless the girl is broke; yes, some girls have their money and spend it on what they want. It’s just simple.
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Cheating and Promiscuity
To some Nigerian men, cheating is a normal thing. A man is allowed to be promiscuous, “boys will always be boys,” the society would say. Some men would not even bother to apologize much when they cheat; it was just sex. I didn’t love her, they would say.
Cheating is for men in Nigeria, but Women should keep themselves and be faithful. If a woman is a cheat, all hell will break loose. A man that sleeps around us is known as a “bad boy,” “playboy,” but if it’s a woman, she’s a slut. This mentality needs to stop; there is nothing to be proud of in cheating and promiscuity.
There was a viral video a few days ago where a couple was having a heated conversation. The girl was caught cheating on her boyfriend; when confronted, she fired back and said the boyfriend cheated first. He stood up to slap and her, saying, “are you mad? Am I not a man?” This scenario was ridiculous and irritated me because he’s not the only man who thinks that way. No one deserves to be cheated on, guys; the fact that some women forgive easily doesn’t mean you should break their heart by cheating.
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More intelligent and more Capable to handle problems
This is one mentality that has caused so many issues in every aspect of the country. Many Nigerian men always feel they are better than women in everything. In Nigeria, a guy will be very sad if a woman takes a higher position than him in class or in office. The mentality has already been instilled in them since they were young; when a girl gets a higher grade than a boy in the class, his parents, especially the father, can scold him harder than they usually should if they discover it was a girl that got the higher grade than him.
Guys feel they are always capable of handling their situations themselves. Some guys would rather keep mute and ignore their girl than tell her what’s bothering them because they already have it in their mind that the girl can’t help them. To some, girls don’t have anything to offer other than sex.
Hiding your emotions to your girl
Nigerian guys love to seem tough, exhibiting the “hard guy” attitude. It isn’t very good. Playing the hard guy means hiding your emotions. For this, you can’t really blame them, but how they have been trained. Hiding your emotions as a guy is what the Nigerian society views as a real man.
When a boy cries, he will be scolded to be a real man. The boy will then grow up to become a man with no emotions. Not only that, in relationships, some Nigerian men will be deeply in love with you, and you might not even be sure of your stance in his life. It’s that bad! Some won’t even say it; they will express it in their actions. Guys, it is okay to cry; it’s okay to be in love. Yes, you may get heartbroken in the process, but that’s what makes us human. It’s okay to let your partner know how you feel in the relationship.
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Hanging out with your friends too much and Not wanting to appear to be a simp
This mentality and the previous one are interwoven. After all, some men hide their emotions because they don’t want to appear like a simp to their friends. See guys, let me tell you this as much as we love your friends, we don’t have to appreciate too much to hang out with them.
Nigerian men love hanging out with their friends than other things; they would rather be with their friends instead of spending quality time with the women. They can also say many things they don’t mean to their friends to prove they are not emotional or in love. Thinking smashing a girl is one thing you should be proud of and boast about it to your guys is not cool; stop the kiss and tell habit. Please, we know you love your friends, but hang out with your girl as well.
Dirtiness and Bad Dress Sense
The “I don’t care” attitude Nigerian men have towards fashion and cleanliness is awful. Some guys are so dirty that they can even wear their boxers for a week. I’ve heard many new wives complaining about their men can’t even flush their defecation. Spending the rest of your life with a dirty husband is worse than heartbreak!
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Guys, please, you can buy perfume for as low as #500 or #1000, smell nice, stop smelling like fowl up and down. There’s no gender thing in cleanliness and having a good fashion sense. Just dead that mentality that it’s only women that should dress well, please I repeat, dead it!
Some guys can wear shorts and a tee-shirt on Crocs to a dinner party. You’d see some guys wearing Jalabia on slippers on a Monday morning to class in the university! Come to think of it; we need fashion police to start arresting some people’s stupid dressings. All I’m saying is, please stop this bad dressing and dirtiness. Ladies love neat guys that dress well and smell good.
The “Women belongs to the kitchen and the other room” mentality.
Expecting a woman should do house chores for you is another mentality I don’t like about Nigerian guys. A woman who can’t cook is like a criminal offense in this part of the world. If some Nigerian guys are permitted, such women can be jailed, LOL. I’ve seen men demanding their girlfriends to wash their clothes and dishes for them. Just like I said earlier, there is no gender thing in house chores, and it shouldn’t even be an issue.
Women are not just sexual objects and house help. There is more to women than that. If you can cook, cook; if you can clean the house, clean the house. Don’t expect the women around you to do your house chores because you feel you are a man and can’t do all that.
Sense of ownership and entitlement
This is one of the most annoying mentalities Nigerian men must stop. Sense of entitlement can be so that guys expect all women to bow to them once they have money, so when they are rich, they give in their money and expect sex in return. When they don’t get it, they become angry and make derogatory remarks to the lady. Another sense of ownership is thinking you own a girl’s body like it’s some property, and you can tell her what to do with it or not. It’s not something ladies find interesting about men.
This mentality can lead to extreme possessiveness or obsession. Guys like this can stalk on their spouse’s movements and all. Some guys with this mentality are usually the one that beats and maltreats their women. Please, if you feel a woman is entitled to you because of what you have done or feel she’s your property, it’s time to kill such thoughts.
Do you agree? Or is there something you disagree with? Send us a message on whatsapp and start a conversation. There are people waiting to shake the table with you.
Certainly, some Nigerian men have at least one of them from the mentalities mentioned above. There is a lot of learning and relearning to do in Nigeria. If you have some of these mentalities as a guy, bro, it’s high time you stopped thinking like that. There is nothing terrible in loving someone and showing it.
It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to share your emotions no matter what society feels about them. Just delete your sense of entitlement; no woman owes you her body, house chores are no longer a gender thing; this is the 21st century. Please and please be clean and smell nice; women love it. Thank you, sirs!
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- Sociologist, writer, historian, and activist; Mariam Obaijoko is the author of Ashabi and Campus Lovers (one of Unilorin Best Fiction Of 2019). Now a full-time writer, she has published several articles and write-ups on social issues, feminism, lifestyles, and many others.