Nigerian women are amazing, they love their men profoundly and can do anything. They are strong and are seen as the bedrock of the household. Nigerian women can also be assertive and strong-willed. Many have been through a lot in their relationships, yet they choose to be strong and hope again, notwithstanding the ordeals they have been through. However, there are annoying mentalities Nigerian women have.
This article was brought together based on a research, asking some Nigerian men about the annoying mentalities Nigerian women have. The most common answers is what makes up this list of 10 annoying mentalities Nigerian women have. Guys, read up to see which you relate to. Ladies, read up to know which you are guilty of.
Table of Contents
10 Annoying Mentalities Nigerian Women Have
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The “billing” mentality
Surely, most Nigerians are familiar with what we term “billing.” Billing is like a colloquial term in Nigeria. When a lady demands excessive money from a guy, it can also be that it’s the guy that requires too much money from the lady.
To understand better read: 10 ways to avoid billing as a Nigerian.
Some Nigerian ladies believe guys must pay for everything they want or need because they are in a relationship. So when a guy gives them some, they will decide to turn them into a money-making machine AKA ‘MAGA.’
Ladies, men don’t like the excess demand for money, it’s an unfair thing to do. How would you feel when a guy demands excess cash from you as well. Also, the fact that a guy gives you money a lot doesn’t make him a maga.
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Too desperate to marry
Nigerian ladies love marriage. Better said, Nigerian ladies are obsessed with weddings! Marriage is somehow considered as an achievement in this part of the world. The typical Nigerian society see women that have become of age and haven’t married as a failure. Family members, especially mothers and aunties, will disturb a lady in her 20s to bring a man home. The eagerness and pressure to marry have made most women marry a monster who will end up maltreating them. While some women celebrate weddings like it’s Calabar carnival to show off to their enemies that there are married.
If you are a lady in your early twenties, it’s discover and develop yourself and be a better you in whatever you choose to become instead of worrying about marriage. Being single in your thirties is also acceptable, as long as you know what you are doing. Men don’t like women that are too eager for marriage. You have just started going out with a guy, just dates, and you are already giving the man marriage hints and raising the “what are we?” questions. My sister, you guys are nothing but pencils in the hands of the creator.Â
Although things work differently for everyone, and some get lucky to find the right one early, Madam, please, marriage is not by force. Take your time, don’t be desperate to marry; you may be chasing your man away.
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My money is my money; his money is our money
This is one of the annoying mentalities Nigerian women have, that men complain about. Some Nigerian women don’t want to foot any bills, no matter how small it is in their relationship. They feel it’s the man’s responsibility. What’s funny is that some of these women earn higher income than their men, but won’t contribute financially to needs and wants.
There was a case of a man going through a tough time, he quit his job to focus on his business. But he needed more funds and at the same time, had to pay the children’s school fees and all. He begged his wife to pay the school fees for that term. The wife insisted she couldn’t because she had no money. This same wife bought jewelry and Aso Ebi the next day for her friend’s party. When the husband confronted her, she said her money is her money, and it shouldn’t be her responsibility to pay the children’s school fees.
There are so many other stories similar to this that men have shared during my survey. Ladies, this is a nasty and selfish mentality because a relationship shouldn’t be about one person carrying all the responsibilities. You guys are partners, and partners should support each other.
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Sense of entitlement
Nigerian ladies have a crazy sense of entitlement! The way ladies feel entitled to guys’ money is absurd, especially after they’ve slept together.Â
You will hear them say, “he used me after everything we’ve been through” after a breakup. Okay, while many wicked guys out there can break your good heart, have you ever thought for a moment about what you contributed to the relationship? What if it was your fault he left? Or you couldn’t support intellectually, and the only thing you support him with is sex? What if he felt you were bringing him down?
Think about that, ladies.
You are not entitled to a man’s money. It’s so bad that there are horrific stories of women using kayamata and all sorts of charms to get a man and spend all his money.
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Guilt trips/mind games
Men have reported that Nigerian ladies are fond of guilt-tripping. Women can be at fault at something, but cause drama instead of saying “sorry, I’m at fault.” This is a prevalent thing ladies do that they don’t even realize it’s a wrong thing to do sometimes. Making a man always says sorry to you even if you are the one at fault is one of the annoying mentalities Nigerian women have. Even the most gentle guys may get tired of saying sorry someday.Â
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“All Men are Scum” mindset
Ladies, stop portraying all men as scum and cheat! Guys don’t like it when ladies are quick to slam all men because of one of their mistakes. I feel it’s not cool to assume all men are the same. You may have been through a lot in your last relationship, or had one or two exes who didn’t treat you right, or you’ve had a bad father figure. All these still don’t give you the right to stereotype all men as cheats. Also, you should stop confusing feminism for misandry because of your sentiment!
Read up on what feminism means to Nigerians to understand the concept better.
Please stop the men-hating. If you are not ready for any relationship, it’s okay; it is best to take your time, or see a therapist. But don’t badmouth or stereotype. Assuming all men are cheats will make you lose the good ones among them because you would hardly believe when they approach you. Cynicism and criticism can lead you to confusion.
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Myopic (too concerned about the present)
Nigerian women can be myopic in some sense. Some women are too concerned about the present state. They find themselves, want to wear what’s trending, spends outrageous amounts on their looks instead of investing. Some Nigerian women would rather spend money on buying #200,000 Asoebi than buying a stock. Some ladies would rather date a rich Yahoo boy even if he’s “jazzing” his cyber crimes up so far as he’s giving them money than be with an educated, ambitious young man that has a great future.
Most young women don’t think about the future anymore; they are concerned about balling and cruising around the town with the happening guys. Some women are too interested in trendy things and buy these things rather than thinking about the future. Most times, it’s better to be with that guy that has excellent potential and thinks significantly about the future than the “trendy guy.”
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Too dependent/Low financial education
This is one of the annoying mentalities Nigerian women have. The way some women depend on guys is so irritating. Some women want to marry so fast because they don’t want to work; they want to enjoy themselves since the husband will be the sole provider. What will happen when something happens, and the husband becomes broke?
Depending on a man’s money is wrong and means you don’t have self-worth and self-respect. I mean, why rely on a man’s money when you can also make more money yourself if you educate yourself well. You can be anything you want to be as a woman, whether as an entrepreneur or an employee, entertainer, anything. There is just something that comes with you having your own money, that independent feeling.
Some women cannot take the risk. Not every woman likes the idea of investing; some don’t even know what it means to own a share or invest in real estate. There are many financial books to read that can enlighten you; you can read up 12 books every Nigerian woman must read to inspire yourself. Having a sound financial knowledge will not only help you but will make you that woman every man will respect. This will convince him that he can come to you to help solve his problems when he’s clueless.
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Insecurities
Everyone deals with insecurities in one way or the other. There are just some things we don’t like about ourselves, our relationship, or our body; in particular, it’s normal. But what is not normal is not learning how to control it and letting it control you to the extent that it makes you do the craziest and silliest things.
In the name of wanting to look perfect, some girls will spend an excessive amount of money doing makeup or makeovers only to end up looking like clowns. Some dark-skinned women are so insecure about their skin that they bleach so much till they start looking like an Ogbanje.
Nigeria is the top country in Africa with most use of bleaching creams, with over 77% of ladies buying bleaching pills and products. Some female celebrities endorse it. Whether brown-skinned, dark-skinned, or light-skinned, you are beautiful, you are unique; you are gorgeous and perfect just the way you are.
Guys love when a woman is confident in her skin and the way she carries herself. You shouldn’t be insecure and worry much about the women your man sees every day. He chose to be with you for a reason, and if he forgets why he chose you, it’s his loss, not yours. You are a queen, and you should always act and think like one.
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Perfectionist/too complicated
Some Nigerian women are so much of a perfectionist that some guys find it irritating. Women want everything in a man. You want a man that is rich and hardworking, but complain he’s too busy. How would you crave a gentleman that isn’t aggressive, but complain that he’s not an “action man.” And when you see an “action man” you said he’s too loud and aggressive. You know a man that cooks, cleans, and does house chores and takes care of you, you complain he’s too romantic, and he’s taking all your role in the house. What exactly do you want in a man?
It’s a known fact that women are wired in a complicated way; unlike men who think straight and logically. That can be good or bad, depending on how you learn to manage your complications as a woman.
Some women try to make their partners so perfect that they treat them like babies and always tell them what to do. That’s one of the annoying mentalities Nigerian women have that men don’t like. He’s a man; let him decide on his own, stop thinking for him and telling him what to do every time. Sweetie, no man is perfect; deal with your angelic demon in peace. It’s hypocritical how we women ask our men to accept us for who we are and deal with our flaws, but don’t want the same energy from our men. There’s something sweet about imperfection; it makes us realize our partner is human. It’s normal for humans to have flaws. Just be with someone whose vibes and energy match yours, and you know you can deal with their flaws too.
Insight Tip: How to Build Your Self Confidence as a Nigerian
Conclusion
These annoying mentalities Nigerian women have are what irritate men. Ladies need to do better by neglecting these attitudes. Learn how to be your boss. Gone are those days men are intimidated by an independent woman, now they love it. It’s okay to wait for the right man, and in the meantime, you can enjoy the moment. And best believe that all men are not scum! There are many good guys, but finding Mr. Perfect ruin your chances of meeting the right person. Most importantly, learn to love your body, the man that wants you will come to stay, despite your flaws.
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About Author
- Sociologist, writer, historian, and activist; Mariam Obaijoko is the author of Ashabi and Campus Lovers (one of Unilorin Best Fiction Of 2019). Now a full-time writer, she has published several articles and write-ups on social issues, feminism, lifestyles, and many others.
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