Relationships play a great deal in our lives as humans. Imagine the extent of damage when one is in a toxic relationship. One of the major signs of a toxic relationship is that it leaves you drained of all your energy, emotions, and affection.
There’s no relationship without problems. Fights will happen, and it’s totally fine to disagree on certain things. However, many don’t know where to draw the line between normal relationship problems and toxicity. Sometimes, we make excuses on behalf of our partners, and we continue to tell ourselves it’s ok even when it’s not.
You don’t see the signs of a toxic relationship, especially when you’re blinded by love. Well, you need to shine your eyes because healthy people deserve healthy relationships. That is why this piece sheds light on some warning signs of a toxic relationship.
8 Glaring Signs to Identify a Toxic Relationship
This is one of the most dangerous signs of a toxic relationship. Once violence is involved, please dust your slippers and run from such a partner. A violent and toxic partner can use the sweetest lines to apologize to you after kicking the oxygen out of you. Once you notice that they become violent from anger and often threaten you, there’s no excuse to still be in such a toxic relationship.
Don’t wait until they start hitting you and giving you bruises. Do not fall for their heartfelt and emotional apologies. They’ll tell you it won’t happen again but believe me, it will, and it gets worse the longer you stay. This goes for both genders. Whatever your role in the relationship, know that you shouldn’t be a punching bag.
This one is funny because you look like a fool every time you fall for their lies. They never tell the truth. They’re not truthful about their whereabouts or who they were with. You always feel the need to double-check whatever they tell you before you believe it.
If you constantly doubt whether your partner is telling the truth or not, then something is up. Trust is very essential in any relationship. A relationship without trust is an unhealthy relationship. If your partner continues to lie to you, then you’re in a toxic relationship.
Whether physical or verbal, an abusive relationship is a toxic relationship. This is when your partner constantly talks down on you, uses derogatory words, and doesn’t care if your feelings are hurt or not. Most abusive relationships tend to be violent. Such relationships leave you in fear and heartache. So if the person you’re dating tends to use harsh words on you and they physically abuse you, run!
One of the notable signs of a toxic relationship is extreme control. They watch you like monitoring spirits 24/7. They want to know what you’re doing every second, who you talk to and when you talk to them. They tell you what to do, not to do, who to talk to and who not to talk to.
They would often want to shut you out from the rest of the world, your family, friends, and anyone that means anything to you. Initially, it might seem like love, and you may feel that they always want to check up on you and cannot do without you. No matter the amount of love, every human needs their own space!
They tend to belittle you. Your partner tells you that they’re worth more than you, and you should be happy they chose you. It does not matter the amount of money they have or even connections; nobody deserves to be treated like nothing.
You feel the need to lower your standards because of their remarks. If your partner thinks you are nothing without them and don’t take you or your affairs seriously, that’s one of the signs of a toxic relationship.
Read also: Signs of immaturity in a relationship
The bedrock of any good relationship is friendship. Things are bound to go south once there’s no friendship in the picture. Some early signs of a toxic relationship manifest when your partner suddenly becomes hostile to you, your friends, and your family. They pick fights unnecessarily and react aggressively to things, and you start becoming scared of them. Most times, verbal abuse accompanies hostile and toxic partners.
Toxic partners easily fall into depression and are also suicidal. They instil fear into the other person to make sure the relationship does not end. They tell you that they can’t live without you and threaten to take their own life if you end the relationship.
Their threat of suicide keeps the other person from taking necessary steps to break free from such a toxic relationship. Some even go as far as causing bodily harm to themselves and their partners.
Check your relationship health status when you feel unhappy, constantly drained, or are less productive at work or otherwise. You occasionally have to pretend that all is well even when it’s not. You have to fake your smiles with your partner and the people around you.
A relationship should make you feel happy and comfortable. Although there will be challenges, it doesn’t mean you’ll be unhappy all the time. Your happiness affects your health and your peace of mind. A toxic relationship might as well be the path to becoming a living dead.
Can you Fix a Toxic Relationship?
The simple answer is, “Sure, you can.” The reality is it takes both parties to fix a toxic relationship. First, you both need to agree that your current status is an unpleasant way to live. Then, you decide and actively seek help either by taking baby steps like appreciating each other or seeking professional help. Here are a few tips to help with this:
- Don’t blame each other for mistakes. Instead, try to understand.
- Don’t dwell on the past. Focus on the future you want to build.
- Acknowledge your mistakes during the healing process. Be accountable.
- Allow yourself to heal individually too. Your partner wronged you, so it’s only fair to take time to forgive them.
- Practice effective and healthy communication.
- And, of course, seek help from loved ones or professionals that can objectively assess the progress of your efforts to heal.
Should you Leave if you Notice Any Signs of a Toxic Relationship?
If you don’t believe there’s a way forward even with therapy, then yes. Remember, it takes both parties to fix an unhealthy relationship. If you’re not willing to keep trying, reach out to friends or professionals on how to safely walk out of such a relationship.
The key to this is being completely honest with whoever wishes to help you. If they don’t understand the gravity of the situation, they might not be able to help you effectively.
Sometimes, we feel that we can change our partners. We make excuses to cover their excesses, but it only makes things worse. You cannot take something that’s unhealthy and expect to be healthy. A toxic relationship is practically a sick one.
Once you notice any of these signs of a toxic relationship in your love life, quit as early as you can. This is to avoid further damage and possible abuse. A one-sided relationship is no relationship at all. If your partner diminishes your worth and self-esteem, you should take the necessary steps to get out of such an unhealthy relationship.
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- Chovwe is content writer and a Fashion Designer. She's also a Chartered Mediator and Conciliator. She's an advocate for peace and loves art. She owns a fashion brand and is very passionate about what she does.