How to Break Up With Your Boyfriend

by Sulaiman Halima

These days, the pressure of relationship palava is getting wesser. 

I find it tickling when I see young Nigerians carry boyfriend-girlfriend relationships on their head, you will think some of them are married.

Someone said it is called a serious relationship. Lol! It’s s not even my business.

 As a lady, it is okay to choose the so-called serious relationship, so far you’re getting a baby girl treatment and not military training treatment.

 Life is not war and a relationship between two lovers is not meant to be a do-or-die affair.  Though some girls are advocates of “for better for worse”, “forever is the deal”…..and “yen yen yen”.

All I can say is “sorry!” My dear, Sorry is your last name!  I see no reason why you as a girl should take too much sh*t from a guy. 

 No matter how much you love your boyfriend, if he’s not treating you well LEAVE HIM!!!.  

Well, this article is solely based on how to break up with your boyfriend. If you’re looking for motivation, then I can’t help you…sorry! I’m just kidding.

In this article, you will know all that is required to spot a toxic or abusive relationship and how to break up with your boyfriend. 

So my gender, pay attention as we discuss the ways to identify toxicity in relationships. 

And to the potential exes, pay attention too because you might be wondering why you are being served breakfast.

Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship 

 If your well-being is consistently threatened by your boyfriend, either by what he says, does, or doesn’t, then it’s safe to call that a toxic relationship.  

You should know whether you’re in a terrible relationship before learning how to break up with your boyfriend.

 Below are the red flags to look out for to know whether or not to end a relationship. Leggo!

  1. Control

 Relationships between lovers should not be like that of a principal and students, you should have the liberation to make your own choices.  

As a lady, you and your boyfriend should have a say in the relationship, if it’s not like that then it’s not healthy (red flag).

  1. Extreme defensiveness

When you are in a relationship and you always feel the need to defend yourself to your boyfriend or the need to explain each of your actions to him, then it’s a sign of jealousy and domination, both of which are not good for you.

Read also: Easy ways to get your crush to like you. 

  1. Yelling

You should never allow a shouting boyfriend in your life, you are not his younger sister, abeg.

It is normal for spouses to raise their voices sometimes, but it is not healthy when it becomes a traditional habit…it’s a red flag!

Nah where beating dey start be that.

  1. Tightfistedness

Being in a relationship with a stingy guy is like going on a date and taking your nephew along, you can’t enjoy your date.

Even though some girls will be like, “I’m not after money” lol just dey play!

 I’m not saying you should become a liability but at least someone you want to spend the rest of your life with should not be stingy when it comes to you.

 No one wants a husband that will be asking for an account of how you spend money.

  1. Arrogance

As a girl, you should not date a guy who feels like he’s doing you a favour by dating you.

 No matter how much you love a guy, if he is playing HARD BOYFRIEND for you then the relationship is not worth it. 

You are meant to be pampered not the other way round.

  1. Isolation

Your freedom to have friends and mingle with people should not be restricted because you’re in a relationship. 

Your relationship with your boyfriend should not be the reason why you will remove yourself from your loved ones. 

So, if a guy constantly asks you to remove yourself from certain friendships without an adequate reason, then that kind of guy is not good for you.

Read also: 6 Kinds of heartbreak you can’t escape in a relationship. 

  1. Concealment

This is a clear sign that you need to learn the steps on how to break up with your boyfriend.

This is the worst of all the signs, dating a guy who can’t show you off to his people.

 If you notice that your boyfriend is always hiding you then it’s a sign that you’re not the only one, you’re not his main girl to be specific. 

You’re not an option baby girl. And you should not be with someone that is not proud of you.

If you notice any of the above in your relationship then you need the steps on how to break up with your boyfriend which is going to be discussed as we move on. 

I know we are mature enough to decide what is good and bad. But first things first, you must always consider yourself in a relationship.

Someone you want to spend the rest of your life with should not treat you like trash.

If you find yourself in this kinda situation, it is better to back off no matter how much you love him. What is not worth doing is not worth doing. 

How to break up With Your Boyfriend 

I know it’s not easy to break up with someone you love but holding onto your boyfriend just because you’re afraid of being lonely or single is going to lead to more pain in the end. 

Learning how to break up with someone you love because of your peace of mind is an important part of moving on. 

So, when you realize that your relationship is not working fine, the right moment to break up with your boyfriend is quick rather than delayed.

Now, what do you do when you want to break up? Below are the steps on how to break up with your boyfriend. 

  1. Have a live conversation

The first and most important thing to know about how to break up with your boyfriend is to know how to go about the discussion.

Don’t let a friend do it for you and it’s not advisable to send him a text either.

This is because sending him a text might be confusing. He might not believe or take it seriously when you might think you’ve officially broken up with him.

 So the best way to do it if you are unable to see him probably because you’re nervous or for other reasons it might be, make sure you do it via an active live conversation(a phone call or video call is the easiest way).

  1. Do it in private

If you want to break up in person, never do it in a public place. Breaking up at a public place like a party or social gathering can increase the hurt.

  1. Don’t be tempted to make a scene

The third step on how to break up with your boyfriend is to avoid any unnecessary drama amidst the break up. 

Any attempt towards causing drama is going to make you look immature.

Communicate how you came about the decision to break up and why you have concluded to do so at the moment.

  1. Don’t make an effort to make him feel better 

Another important step to note on how to break up with your boyfriend is to avoid pity partying.

 Not only is it no longer your duty to help him cope, but relieving him or any attempt to make him feel good at the moment will likely make him feel worse.

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  1. Slash all contact with him for a short period after the break up

Learning how to break up with someone you love is not just about learning the process of breaking up but also about how to deal with it after the break up. 

After the break up, don’t inflict yourself with any emotional stress by getting hung up on remaining friends.

 It is not only reasonable to avoid seeing or talking to each other for a while, but it is also healthy and you are going to emotionally recover much faster.

  1. Accept the break up for what it is 

Do not regret anything, know that the break up is a sign of your incompatibility and you are both better without each other.

It is vital to remind yourself that you broke up for a reason and that reason is a very good one. Stop deluding yourself, girl. Move on!

  1. Invest in yourself

Invest in mending your identity, rediscover your old hobbies, and most of all, spend time with your friends. 

Not only will your friends reassure you and make you feel adequately in the moment, but they will also assist in strengthening your identity again.

  1. Only start dating again when you’re emotionally balanced 

Just like the popular saying “once bitten twice shy”  choose your next boyfriend carefully to avoid the recurrence of your previous relationship.

Don’t be desperate to find a new boyfriend, start dating again when you are delighted to see new people. 

Excitement and desperation are two different things so don’t be desperate, date again only when you’re excited to see someone else.

  1. Only be friends with your ex once you’re over the idea of dating them

It is when you’ve gotten over your feelings for your ex that the thought of becoming friends with them again should cross your mind. Otherwise, it may not end well.

Read also: Best ways a Lady can move on after a break up. 

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So girl! There you go with the steps on how to break up with your boyfriend.

Don’t be scared to break up with that guy that is not giving you peace.

By the way, when Burna said” Nah everybody go chop breakfast” he didn’t exclude his name….so cheers!

Compare your current relationship with what you want in the future and ask yourself if that’s what you want for yourself. 

If that’s not what you’re getting, girl, walk out with your head held high.

If you love what you’ve just read, let’s hear your thoughts in the comments.

About Author

Avatar of Sulaiman Halima
Sulaiman Halima
I am Sulaiman Halima, a Microbiology student born and raised in Ilorin, Kwara State. Writing has always been my dream since childhood; it makes me curious. Apart from the fact that I learn more through writing, I chose writing also because I found it to be a great way to express my thoughts and share my feelings with others.

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